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[quote=Anonymous]My kids are in HS now so I'm a bit further down the road than most people.  Like PPs have suggested, I've never lied to my kids but have used age appropriate language to explain and model the discussion - and believe me, it's a discussion, especially if there's mental illness in your family.  These are the topics the discussion has generated:

Bad/hurtful behavior should never be tolerated or excused. 
Sometimes you need to separate yourself from people who hurt you
Being a family member or related to someone does not make it okay for them to treat you badly
Kids get a lot of chances to make mistakes and to learn from them so kids are never in danger of being rejected by their family
Family is what you create, not who you are related to.  When you're a kid, your parents are always your family.  When you're an adult, you get to choose who is in your family

As my kids have gotten older, we've had a lot of discussion about mental health and that while it may explain behavior, it doesn't excuse it.  "Love" isn't enough in a relationship.  There also needs to be respect.

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