Reply to If a friend confided in you that they were being abused by their spouse what would you do?

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Reply to "If a friend confided in you that they were being abused by their spouse what would you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have BTDT.  "Fortunately" he was only physically abusive when he was drunk, so sometimes she could avoid him and he would sleep it off and he'd be fine.  emotionally he was abusive all the time  Here are things we did

1.  She knew I was available 24/7 with zero judgement.  I didn't judge her or give her a hard time that she wasn't leaving him.  She knew she could call me at 2am saying he hit her and I would ask what she needed from me.  There was no "you need to leave, how can you stay with him?" Discussion.

2.  I helped keep documentation.  She would send me photos or copies of texts and I would have a file on my computer. He was very manipulative with technology

3.   We had code words.  If she texted me "do you want to grab coffee at X" she knew it meant she needed me to get her that afternoon because he was going out drinking.

4.  We had a small group of friends and had a plan for when she was done with him

5.  We kept up with our friendship. He was an asshole, but he would never want to give the outward appearance that things were bad. He knew he had her manipulated to stay so he wanted her to go out with friends and have the appearance of a happy and perfect wife.

This was all a couple of years ago and she finally left him.  It was a rough road for her but she had a good support group and a good therapist.  Pretty sure her ex is still a loser alcoholic and my friend now has a great boyfriend. [/quote]

You are a wonderful friend, may you be blessed to have been such a blessing. I have a friend like you and her heart is pure gold.[/quote]

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