Reply to If a friend confided in you that they were being abused by their spouse what would you do?

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Reply to "If a friend confided in you that they were being abused by their spouse what would you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My ex got into physical altercations with me seldom but with increasing frequency.  At first it was just a small finger flick on the forehead in 2004 (privately in a public environment so I couldn't react without making a scene), and in 2012 it ended in full facial smacking (privately while my family was visiting) and my calling it quits there and then.
Let me think, I'd say these occurrances were spaced apart by 2-3 years in the beginning but became worse after the kids were born (I'd say a year between occurrances) as his financial responsibilities increased.  What was obvious to me was the escalation of force, the increasing incidences and the fact that it wasn't going to get any better.

It wasn't daily abuse, but it was always lurking in the background and poisoned the marriage.

I hate to say it but some women confide these family secrets without any intention of doing anything to change their marriage.  
My own mother griped and complained endlessly about my father for decades (no, he did not hit her, he just disappointed her) - told everybody about it.  
I, on the other hand, said nothing about my situation and when I decided to end the marriage it was a surprise to everyone.

The sharing of this information is more about needing to have someone to talk to.  It might serve your friend talk with a professional therapist to tease out the why, what, how going on in her head.  Primarily, why does she accept this?  There are usually other reasons than financial dependence.
Their marriage needs help.
She also needs help, not necessarily from him, but from herself for the decision she has made (and will make in the future) and continuing to accept her marriage.[/quote]

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