Reply to I'm upset; soon-to-be vacationing husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hear you op. I'd be p.o.d, too.  To those who said she should've set that expectation:  a husband should not have to be told to be considerate. It's the fact that, knowing he will be on a mini-vacation the next week while his wife looks after the kids alone, he couldn't be bothered to put the effort into looking after the kids the day before he leaves for vacation, and also miss out on a family event that the kids were looking forward to.

IMO, much of the resentment wives have against husbands would disappear if the husbands put some thought and effort into being a good husband and parent.  Why does a grown man have to be told to be a bit more considerate and thoughtful of his wife when it comes to being a partner in the home?[/quote]

I’m PP who mentions that I set specific schedules with my husband.

Yes, I agree that it would be great if he was more considerate, but unfortunately that just isn’t the case. So instead of me stewing, being resentful and irritated by his lack of consideration, I am crystal clear in expectations re: household schedule, cleaning that should be done over the weekend (hey, I’m going to vacuum and clear the sink, can you please clean the bathroom and help the kids pick up the playroom) - yep that specific. We have a nanny M-F, so I just extend the time and expectation setting discussions that I have with her now also to my husband.

Would it be great if he would manage this on his own? Yes definitely. But it’s even better not to get divorced because I spent the bulk of our marriage resentful. It helps that he is extremely receptive to this approach (it did not start that way). I guess he figures this is better than having an angry wife all of the time lol.[/quote]

OP here. WOW. I literally said "I'm upset." How you leapt to getting a divorce from that is far beyond me.[/quote]

DP but, OP, you don't even see that you're on the path to divorce by nursing your feelings of upset and resentment like this. That's where this goes. Resentment gives way to contempt which then ends in divorce. [/quote]

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