Reply to SIL who never shows a crack in the armor

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a similar struggle with my SIL, except it’s not so much that she’s trying to make her life seem exciting, it’s more that she wants to talk on the phone or via text with me on a daily basis about things I find incredibly boring.

Another poster up thread talked about being in “guest mode” or “on” with her in laws, and I totally get that. But what’s weird is she contacts me almost every day....to talk about:
-meals she’s making (not show-off kinds of meals, just ordinary simple family dinners)
-her chiropractor appointment 
-home decor (really though, not showing off...more like how she’s rearranging her basement furniture)

This does kind of confuse me. It doesn’t upset me and I’m not envious. But our lives are EXTREMELY different and I don’t get it. Is she super lonely? Is this what all her friendships look like?

I thought with time if I engaged with her more frequently, that it would strengthen our relationship and we’d be able to talk about deeper more substantive things, but I’ve been working this for almost a year and it hasn’t gotten any deeper. She doesn’t for example, share her struggles or her sorrows or her snark. I guess that’s what my friendships look like so I don’t know what this is or what she’s getting out of it or why she wants to communicate so much about essentially nothing.

Sometimes it kind of annoys me just how incredibly DIFFERENT we are from each other, whereas in other friendships what I love is that sense of understanding each other. I don’t really get that from my SIL and I wonder if she does get it from me? Or does she not need it?

Ultimately my conclusion is, I think for her this is friendship. I don’t think she has the kinds of friendships I have, where we go deep into things. She’s more comfortable keeping it light.[/quote]

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