Reply to MIL problem (AGAIN!).... re. nursing home/decision making...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, for people telling me to "keep her close," and "don't let her move away..." How exactly am I supposed to do this? If she hadn't this "friend" sure enough... we could just refuse to drive her there/set up the administrative thing with the Vincentian home... but with this nosey buddy inserting himself into her life and enabling her, he may pretty well just come her to pick her up and drive her himself. What authority do we have to say "no" and not let her go? Really, none![/quote]

This is why it is worth researching your options for getting guardianship/power of attorney over her.  Moving away is a bad decision, and it really sounds like she is not lucid enough to make informed decisions.  In the meantime, I don't know if it would help for your husband to call the nursing home that she wants to move to and explain that she isn't able to make informed decisions, that the family wants her to stay where she is, and this friend is interfering.  If you and your husband are paying for her care now, tell the far away nursing home that and that you won't pay for her to live there.  I wouldn't imagine they would want a client without payment, especially if she doesn't yet qualify for Medicaid, so that should lead them not to accept her.

The friend's behavior is odd and makes me wonder if he's exploiting her financially. Is there a way to see if she has been sending money to this friend, deeding him assets, or writing him into her will without making her feel like you're persecuting him unfairly?  [/quote]

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