Reply to Mother was smothering and critical at same time -- what is that called?

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Reply to "Mother was smothering and critical at same time -- what is that called?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think some therapists find it really easy to blame the mom.  I’m not saying she didn’t make mistakes.  But it is super hard to parent a child with anxiety and depression (and could adhd be at play here too as your sister seem to get overwhelmed and have planning difficulties??).  Your dad is depressive—it’s very likely your sister inherited it, and your mother probably saw big flashing signs making her paranoid your sister would end up like your dad.  Being smart and graduating magna has nothing to do with it—a kid can have an IQ of 145 but still be emotionally immature.
The parenting supports for SN kids are much better now and there’s a lot of stress on scaffolding skills so that the child can take over.  That wasn’t there 20-30 years ago.  But it’s still really hard.  And it’s hard not to be critical when you see someone you love making huge mistakes when their life.  Also really hard not to try to lend them a hand to help them along the way.  I’m sorry your sister hasn’t developed the necessary skills, and I’m glad she is seeing someone to help her figure out how to do so.  Not sure why it’s necessary at this point to blame your mom or diagnose her.[/quote]

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