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Reply to "Mother was smothering and critical at same time -- what is that called?"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your mom has borderline personality disorder. She infantilized your sister to keep her dependent on her, to prevent being 'abandoned'. Borderlines have issues with emotional dysregulation and major control issues. If she's ever praised your sister and also treated her like crap, then that's known as 'splitting'. My mom is like your mom in that she would insist on bringing me stuff and doing things for me like cleaning my glasses (she would pull them from my face just like that!) when we met. It's very irritating because I don't want anything from her and so I have chosen to not meet her again. Your mom probably derives a lot of her identity from being your sister's keeper and it's really unhealthy so I agree with the therapist. I grew up with a borderline mom, schizophrenic grandma and uncle, and narsisstic aunt. Trust me, I know PDs![/quote]
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