Reply to How to get wife to do more around the house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Asking gently is getting you no where. I’d have a very frank conversation.  Tell her you are unhappy and considering separating. Ask her how she feels and then tell her how you honestly feel.  Ask her what she needs and tell her honestly what you need. [/quote]

Oh please. If this were a woman making the same complaint about her husband, you would make that recommendation. I do so much more than this person, compared to my spouse and threats like this get you nowhere. [/quote]

Actually, as somebody who was the spouse who didn’t do as much work, I don’t think this is a terrible idea. Maybe make the separation but much more tentative (“I have *thoight* about separating, that’s how hard this is for me”) but it’s totally fair to have this kind of conversation. That said, it won’t make her change. It will maybe make it worse, at least for a time, since she is probably really susceptible to shame right now. But she deserves to know.

After that I would follow the advice of a PP to drastically lower expectations for both himself and his wife. Life will be okay even if a lot less gets done, OP, and telling her to do more will *not* change how much work she does. [/quote]

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