Reply to Words of affirmation love language

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet. [/quote]

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza. [/quote]

He asks for verbal reassurance though [/quote]

I am a words of affirmation and physical touch woman and DH is an acts of service quality time guy. Generally we are happy in our marriage although my dislike of 'acts of service' can be an issue from time to time.

[b]However, it's way too early for this to be an issue in the relationship in my opinion. Assuming that you are being a considerate and kind person generally in your conversations, him asking specifically for 'reassurance' so early in the relationship is very odd. This guy sounds needy and manipulative. As his partner, it's not your job to manage his fragile ego.[/b]

DH is not a talkative person and does not generally say 'reassuring' types of things to me unless I specifically ask for it in a rough situation. He does say I love you daily though, but that didn't start until we were actually in love, and you are not even there yet.   [/quote]

This is kind of BS, in that it kind of defeats what early relationships *should* be. So much posturing and sidestepping your own needs so you can.. what? Find that later someone can’t meet your needs. We really should stop the “needy” narrative and actually allow adults to discuss their needs, like, well, adults. Why wait until you’re “in love” to find that the person you’re with is a totally different person than you thought, and vice versa? [/quote]

Fair enough, to each his own. Personally I would not be compatible with a man who repeated asked me for 'reassurance' this early in a relationship. Sometimes people are just not compatible partners in the long-term and that no amount of 'love language' awareness can fix this. Perhaps OP is a person who is more amenable to providing her partner more 'reassurance' and validation frequently. It's hard for me to imagine being attracted to and compatible with such a person who is always seeking validation, but that may be specific to me and something that is more plateable for the OP.  [/quote]

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