Reply to Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my spouse is also a dr and works long hours, a lot of overnights, etc.  We also moved to this area knowing very, very few people and w/o kids-- found it very hard to meet others etc.  In our case, we are one of the few couples where both of us don't work in medicine...seems to be more and more the norm.

Loneliness is definitely part of the game, and I think it is worse now (with facebook etc replacing so much of general personal interaction).  I think, generally, many people are lonely ('bowling alone,' anyone?)And, because the DC area is a major metropolitan area with a lot of physicians and other highly educated professionals, you don't see the kind of 'clustering' of medical professionals/families as social peers here that my perception is happens in other places too.

As I read what you wrote, though, I think a lot of what you are dealing with may about if you are happy in your relationship, given its constraints.  Only you- and no one on an anon message board-- knows if you are lonely because you feel 'neglected' by your spouse, if your spouse is really 'into' the relationship (working these hours definitely doesn't preclude this), if this is the kind of relationship you see yourself in/happy in for the long term, etc.  It sounds like your DH will not be changing soon. Maybe it would be helpful for you to give therapy another try, or for your to try to engage in some ongoing reflection to help you clarify your needs and perspectives, like journaling?
It sounds like you are doing a lot of 'right' things. Maybe you can try to find ways to deepen your involvement with volunteering-- e.g. become involved in an organizing committee or help plan a benefit or something.
Wishing you the best of luck as your sort through this...[/quote]

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