Reply to Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to piggyback on what 21:30 talked about.

Military spouses deal with this kind of schedule all the time, even when the active duty member is not deployed.  As you move up in rank, it is not uncommon for both enlisted and officers to work 60, 70, 80+ hour weeks, even stateside.  I can't tell you how many 18+ hour shifts, missed dinners, 7 day workweeks my husband and his peers have worked (this is in the country supporting the mission, not away at war) It is a tough life and I imagine you are experiencing many of the same struggles that military spouses face in terms of having an absentee spouse that you want to support, due to the noble nature of the job, but whose job requirements are often too much for the family.

The difference that helps militay spouses get through this kind of lifestyle is that they have an active network of people experiencing the same thing, and many more experienced people who are happy to help and mentor them through the long hours and absent spouses.

Do you have any friends whose husbands do a similar job/works the same type of hours who can emphathize with you?  A spouses' group perhaps?  Even one friend who really knows what you are going though and is suffering along with you can make all the difference in the world.  I imagine there are many other of your husband's coworker's wives who are the same age, newer to town, and experiencing the same thing.  Perhaps he can set up a dinner date with a few couples from work, and if things click you can exchange emails and get together with another wife in the same boat as you.

Do you know anyone in the military?  Maybe look into some military spouse networks.  As 21:30 said, they have been there, they understand, and they might be able to offer you the support you need, even if it's an online forum.  Good luck to you.  I hope things are better soon.[/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for writing all this.  You make many helpful points.  But I only have made three friends in the area since we moved here a few years ago not knowing a single person.  The three friends' spouses all work normal 40 hour per week jobs--teacher, accountant, etc.  One is a good friend and the other two are more acquaintances.  I'd love to find a female friend who is in a similar situation but have not been able to do so yet.  DH's colleagues are all in their 50's and 60's and so we have not socialized with them.  He has a few other colleagues who are single males, but no one who has a wife that I could meet.  My DH doesn't have time to socialize quite frankly so he hasn't gotten to know many people at work in general.  [/quote]

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