Reply to At what point do you call it quits?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you. He may not have been taught how to pull his own weight as a kid, so in this case you need to start back from square one.

Make a chore chart, which clearly outlines your tasks, and his tasks. If your kids are old enough, maybe even have them help you with something. If he doesn't get his tasks done, then he has to pay to hire someone to do them. If he doesn't get one of his tasks done that could easily be done by you, he has to pay you for you to do it. That should get him to do the tasks.

As well as doing this, also withhold privileges that relate to the tasks. Ex.

DH: I wanna go play outside with the kids.

OP: T[b]hat sounds great, the kids would love it. Please mow the lawn first - so you and the kids don't get ticks (and so that we don't get an HOA fine)  *Kiss on cheek walk away*

[/b]
Or:

DH: Time to go to our fancy dinner!

OP: [b]We can't leave the house with it looking like this, CPS would take our children away. Please [b]you can do your part with house chores[/b] now, [b]while I handle my  responsibilities with the kids now[/b],[b] and then we can all get it done today, so that we can go and enjoy dinner tomorrow.  *Kiss on cheek walk away*[/b][/b]

Hopefully this helps![/quote]

+1 with edits. The prior suggestion had a lot of nagging, even though it was true. You are articulating the same point with revisions above, but lower the risk of defensiveness. Otherwise he can respond to I didnt mow the lawn because... I wasnt able to help because... that is stupid and a waste of time. You know what you're dealing with. Cut to the chase and be pleasant and move on with what you have as a priority. Do not take control, he has to walk himself, just like a baby learns there were be staggers and tumbles but he will get there.[/quote]

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