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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.  I agree that I am lucky to have a biological mother still living.  PP, I am so sorry for your loss.  There is a bit more, though, to say. In my case, my mother is mentally ill and has been all of my life.  I feel more guilty than I can explain about the restrictions I put around seeing her, for my DC's, DH's, and my own sake -- we try to see her as much as we can but we pay an extreme toll (in after-effects).  She is extremely verbally abusive and has always been (undoubtedly born of her extreme psychological pain).  She is incapable of being positive, and she is incapable of saying or doing anything productively helpful.  She hates my father and always has but is psychologically, physically, and financially dependent on him, and so the verbal abuse to us (which is also emotional) has always included disrespecting my dad in front of others.  My point is this:  I know I am lucky to have a mother alive; I know I should be grateful; I feel guilty about the work I have done to keep reasonably emotionally healthy in spite of my mother.  Bless those of you who have awesome relationships with your mothers, and may I be for my daughter all that she needs.  (And I should note that I am grateful to the three or four "other moms" who saw me through childhood, adolescence, college, and young adulthood -- moms of friends and my MIL and work mentors.  They are awesome, just as my mom would have been if she could have been, I am sure.)[/quote]

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