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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You all, like many people, are dx'ing people as having NPD (is she clinically diagnosed?) when really they are just a$$holes.

They're socially maladjusted a-holes, who happen to also be parents, about 99.9% of the time.  True NPD is quite rare, and requires the diagnosis of a professional.  It might make you feel better to think they are mentally ill according to the DSM, because, maybe, it lets you off the hook for naming your parent what they are.  [/quote]

I agree people too often default to saying "Oh this person is NPD or BPD" without any clinical evidence. I think you have to be careful with labels that are really only meant for people who are professionally diagnosed.

However, a label like narcissism is incredibly useful if you have a loved one with these behaviors. Especially with parents, we often make lots of excuses for what you would refer to as "a-hole" behavior because of years of conditioning as children. Finally being able to identify behaviors like this as narcissism, or even narcissistic tendencies or selfishness, can signal a breakthrough for people who have struggled with the fallout from having selfish, emotionally immature parents. It can finally shift their focus from thinking, "What is wrong with me that nothing I ever do can satisfy or please my parent" to "Ok, this is how my parent behaves -- now what can I do to keep that behavior from impacting me in harmful ways in the future." Or even just realizing "Oh, this is why I struggle so much with specific triggers."

If you google "how to deal with a-hole parent", you may or may not discover useful information. But if you goodle "how to deal with narcissist parent" you will almost definitely come across information that can help you. That's why these labels are useful, even if they are not always being applied in a clinically appropriate way.[/quote]

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