Reply to Have you said to your child stop being a baby or any other comment along this line?

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Reply to "Have you said to your child stop being a baby or any other comment along this line?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My kids are not usually big whiners -- whining for cookies/toys just doesn't happen too much, because they just know it doesn't work.  But my 5 year old son has recently taken to what I would call, "excessive fussing".  It's always caused by something legit (although usually small) -- his brother pushed him or took a toy, or something not nice.  He will scream "Jack!  JACK!  JACCKKKKKK!!! STOPPPPPP!"  While I usually can go and correct "Jack's" behavior ("Jack, give him back the toy please.") the wailing persists -- sometimes for 5 minutes (which seems really incessant to me).  He's not injured.  He has his toy.  So c'mon... get over it please!

I just don't like the "don't act like a baby" statement.  I agree with the others that it rubs me the wrong way, as it seems belittling and a bit too close to name calling.  But I have said, "Andrew -- you need to get a hold of yourself -- that is just too much fussing."  When it persists (and sometimes it does), I have gone so far as to say, "Listen Andrew, Jack took your toy, but now your have it back, and the noise and fussing really is excessive.  I don't want to listen to it anymore.  If you're that upset, go up to your room and cry if you want to -- and come back down when you feel better."

I say this in a gentle but firm tone -- because I don't want him to feel like I'm "punishing" him for crying... but at the same time, ay yai yai... the noise!

I'm curious as to what others think of this?  Am I being too harsh?  Too soft?  Quite honestly, I haven't seen a whole lot of improvement in the behavior... so I'm hoping its a "phase"...   For him, a lot of it seems to come from a strong sense of "justice".  He has this inate understanding of what is fair and what isn't (I understand this because I was exactly like him as a child).  But it makes him prone to expecting life to mirror his principles too often -- when we all know "life isn't fair".  I wish I could find a way to make him a bit more resistant/understanding to life's little inequities.

I'm the last person to want to teach my sons to be "macho men who don't cry" -- but I also recognize that kids (especially boys) who are labelled "babies" by their peers can have a tough road to hoe.

I find it to be a tough line to walk.[/quote]

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