Reply to Have you said to your child stop being a baby or any other comment along this line?

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Reply to "Have you said to your child stop being a baby or any other comment along this line?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I've never really liked "don't whine" or "no whining" -- it's like "stop crying." Have you ever been upset and crying, and someone tells you to "stop crying"? It does not work,[/quote]

baloney.  It works.  Whining that you want a cookie NOW is entirely different motivation than bawling because you fell off the swing.[/quote]

I agree with poster that if a child is genuinely upset (and OP says her daughter was tired, late in day) and can't keep it together, it's OK to cry to express frustration, anger, etc. Don't ADULTS do this too? It's a normal healthy reaction to feeling upset. I would not call your DD a "baby" for these kinds of things.

I would say there is a difference with the "mock cry"/tantrum that is designed to get their way, like in a grocery store when you don't give in. In this case, I would expres sympathy "It is frustrating. You feel frustrated" and then ignore, but I could see telling a kid "I can't understand you right now. Please use your big girl voice so we can hear you."[/quote]

Agreed. I would have thought this was nonsense before actually having children (The "you feel frustrated" thing) but DH and I were shocked that it actually works-- a million times better than "stop being a baby", which just escalates things-- and ultimately, since we KNOW we are in charge of the house and aren't so insecure about our power that we need to belittle our children to make it clear, we just do what WORKS. Let me tell you, it is totally bizarre to me that saying to my toddler "You REALLY want some candy RIGHT NOW. Wouldn't it be fun if we could just sit down right here in the aisle and eat every single piece of candy we see?" would make here stop crying and declare "Yeah!" And it helps her learn that sometimes I, too, want to do things but have to tell myself I can't-- just like now that I'm a parent I understand that there were surely times when my mom wanted to yell, "Just be quiet and stop being such a brat!" but she never did.[/quote]

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