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Family Relationships
Reply to "how to have a close family and stop this generational problem "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t have personal experience with this so just speculating (my brother and I live too far from each other to see each other often, but we are happy to see each other during holidays and send each other texts and kid pictures occasionally), but wouldn’t this pressure re “WE ARE FAMILY, WE MUST BE CLOSE” backfire and do the opposite? I love my family and love seeing them because I enjoy spending time with them - no one guilt trips me into it...[/quote] This -- trying to force closeness can really backfire. It needs to feel genuine and voluntary. If I can't come home for a holiday, and my family says, "Oh, too bad you can't make it; we were looking forward to [fun holiday activity] with you. We'll really miss you! Hope we can see you at [next holiday]!" that makes me feel good. If they dump a huge guilt trip on me, and turn up the pressure, and complain about it every time I talk to them, I'm going to feel LESS motivated to see them. [/quote]
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