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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 14 yo DD just shared that a friend has come out as "non-binary".  She then went on to explain the difference between biological sex and gender identity, including the sliding scale of identity. She shared that non-binary is not on the scale. I'm still slightly confused by this last point, but I told her that you can't judge people by how they feel. She explained why people are adding she/her, she/they, etc. to their profiles on-line. Her friend has a new name to be used by only those who are in the know.  And, my DD will use the old name around this person in front of me because the person has only come out to a handful of trusted friends.  As a trusted friend my DD is not sharing this person's identity with me. I'm grateful for DD sharing this with me, but I'm also a bit stunned. These kids are 14... I'm trying to e open minded... but... Thoughts?  [/quote]

It's great that you have open conversation with your kids. That's a good thing. What you don't want to encourage is that, because this person has "come out" as something unique, that your daughter somehow now thinks, wow, look how great everyone is treating this person, how much attention they're getting. Maybe, maybe I AM non-binary (obviously a subconscious thought)! Honestly think back when you were 14 and things you thought were interesting, cool, awesome, special. I also wanted to be something more than my 14 year old chubby self, who hoped to have something special about me vs just a smart nerd who was not athletic. I'm skinny, got a great family, etc, etc. It's a unique time in life when perspectives are easily shifted.

Totally great they treat them with kindness. Just be aware of your own daughter's behavior change due to her friends. Look up Dr. Deborah Soh and her research https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9NeQTkJjIs&t=1316s[/quote]

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