Reply to Did you ever feel taken advantage of by your elderly parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Was this often the dynamic with you and your mom? [/quote]

OP here. I don't know anymore. After years of things getting gradually worse my mind is so tainted I don't know if she has always been like this and I just convinced myself everything was fine and figured out how to manage a relationship with her or if she was a nicer person. I can't even look at old photos because her shrill voice guilt tripping me is all I hear.

I hate to bring in politics, but I think her endless defense of Trump makes me realize she has always valued money more than kindness and compassion and I just don't like her values at all. Trump could literally murder people with a gun (as opposed to possibly kill people with Covid) and she would still say "yeah, but he saved us taxes. You just wait if Biden gets into office. He will raise taxes right away." (By the way...it's not like she even earned the money. It was my dad. Anything she made in her much lower paying part time job she got to spend on herself.) I learned early on not to talk politics with her at all because it sets off rants, but before I could shift on the Trump issue I had to jump in and remind her of not just all he has done up until now, but the super spreader stuff going on now and literally all she cares about is her money. I guess in the past I thought it was more about the fact she grew up where money was sometimes an issue and a stressor, so even though I know my dad made a good living , I thought they were saving just to be sure they were set for retirement. I didn't know she was sitting on gobs of it.

The interesting thing is I have plenty of good memories of my dad even though he had some traits I didn't like. While I thought his expectations were unreasonable, he never took it to the level of nastiness and vitriol she did and he actually said thank you. That said I do worry that I am putting him a pedestal because he is no longer here, but again, I cannot think of even one time in my life he unleashed an abusive tirade on me.[/quote]

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