Reply to Behavioral problems with ~3 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](splitting off from: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/915408.page)

I have a child who is almost 3 who is an incredible challenge.  Everything is a (losing) battle with him.  While he scores high on the autism screen questionnaires at the pediatrician's office, he's very social so they assume it's more sensory-based rather than ASD.  We've been enrolled in early intervention and speech/occupational therapy for a year now, but we're certainly not seeing dramatic improvements, particularly around behavior.  He's mostly non-verbal, although he speaks enough that I'm pretty sure he understands a lot of what we say.

What caught my attention in the other thread was the OP saying they have to scream to get their kid to react.  That's our situation as well.  Talking to him about dangers and consequences up-front doesn't help.  Putting him in time-outs (which, we have to do with him, because if we don't hold him down he'll run away) doesn't help.  Redirecting him to other activities doesn't help.  That is, if we move him from climbing on furniture to climbing on a real climbing apparatus, he goes right back to the furniture.

[b]Roughly speaking, rewards don't work for him, because everything he likes to do is bad.[/b]  Taking him away from activities doesn't help either (e.g., bringing him inside if he runs outside our yard) because he doesn't seem to mind- he just finds new trouble to get in.

Even basic tasks, like brushing teeth, are a challenge.  We've tried every strategy we and the therapists can come up with.  Different tooth brushes. Different tooth paste.  Songs. Books. Posters.  Nothing helps.  Everyone has always told us that it is important to follow through with tooth-brushing, so we do.  But it's getting harder and harder as he gets older.  It now takes two of us to hold him down, force open his mouth, and brush his teeth.  Everyone we've talked to has always said if you just keep it up, he'll get used to it, but that absolutely isn't happening. [/quote]

What do you mean by this? Doesn't he like screentime? A little screentime is a reward that works for lots of kids.  [/quote]

Nope, he doesn't.  His twin brother loves it, but he's indifferent to screens.  He'd much rather look at books.  But I'm not going to try withholding books from him.  And trying to use a "favorite" book as a reward doesn't work either, since he just gets fixated on a different book then.

On a similar note, he won't eat junk food.

He certainly has his problems, but I also have to admit he's a better person than me in many ways.[/quote]

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