Reply to What have you learned about your own upbringing by becoming a parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]I realized how abnormal, abusive, and dysfunctional my family was. The things my parents said and did to each other and to my sister and me, I could never fathom doing or saying in my children’s presence. Our parents basically taught us that things like kindness and charity were signs of weakness, and it’s kill or be killed. So I had to really reflect on my values, what kind of person I wanted to be, what kind of people I wanted to shape. Then I had to completely redefine concepts like how to be a good person so I could do that. I’m not special, just fortunate, that I was able to break the cycle of abuse, and I also learned how hard that can be. I’m much less judgmental now, because when you’re in that situation, you’re not seeing things clearly. I still feel like I’m faking being a good person, because I have to pause and think about what a kind, compassionate person would do in many situations. But my kids don’t have that problem. They’re teenagers and they have kindness, compassion, and empathy in their core. [/quote]

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