Reply to What have you learned about your own upbringing by becoming a parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids really, really need structure and boundaries and rules. When they don't have those they have anxiety because they have too much responsibility. I have an anxiety disorder and I realize now it's because my parents were incredibly lazy and never enforced any rules. [/quote]
Lots of people have anxiety even when given structure and boundaries when children. Lots of people don’t have anxiety even without a ton of structure and boundaries. You probably did get your anxiety from your parents, but more likely through a genetic predisposition.[/quote]

PP- not really. My anxiety specifically manifests as a need to control things in my life because growing up my life was so chaotic. The rules constantly changed, I was punished one day for regular kid stuff and the next day it was no big deal because they didn't want to enforce it. My parents would get into massive fights in front of me, say they were getting divorced and then never address it again. They complained about the other spouse to me constantly. Any expression of emotion on my part was ridiculed as being "too sensitive". As an adult I have to constantly fight the urge to try and control everything around me because that's the only way I feel safe, if I'm able to know exactly what's coming and when.

Kids need to feel like their parents are the ones in control, too much responsibility for their emotions and actions at a young age makes them anxious because the world is a big and scary place and they're not ready to take that on on their own. I have spent years and thousands in therapy on this, believe me. [/quote]

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