Reply to Do you regret having kids at a young age?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a kid at twenty and a kid at forty. All the physical aspects of child bearing and rearing were a doddle at twenty. I was a young SAHM. Quick labor, I was out of the hospital in less than 24 hours, and right back into my size 4 jeans. It Was like being the mom AND the fun babysitter. Lots of parks and walks and enrichment and attachment parenting.

Financially, it was no fun. No money for babysitters or preschool. Very few vacations. No budget for food outside of home cooked. Severe compromise on housing choices. The thing I regret most, in hindsight, was not having a period in my life where I was only responsible for myself. It made me a more risk averse person than I think I was meant to be.

Having a child at forty was not fun, physically. I gained so much weight, felt exhausted all the time, and couldn’t spare the time for proper rest. There was the expense and anxiety of all the Advanced Maternal age rigamarole, the difficulty of fitting all the appointments into an already busy life, the pre-guilt of “what if something goes wrong”. Labor was rough and recovery not long enough.

There was money, though. Blessed money for take out food and supplemental child care and formula. Nice comfortable house, plenty of clothes so I wasn’t doing laundry 24/7. I was more laid back as a parent, didn’t feel like I had to be “on” all the time. However, I did miss that wonderful feeling of having one job- making baby happy without being regimented to within an inch on the clock.

I can’t honestly say one experience was better than the other. They both had their wonderful parts and drawbacks. But that’s life. It’s like a Mandelbrot pattern. Any part you slice out and look at is going to have the same pattern of good and bad. [/quote]

Just to note that each pregnancy is different and there's no guarantee you won't gain weight when younger or that you will when older. I was lucky with my pregnancies at 35 and 39 and am at age 41 in the same size jeans I wore in high school. I also have lots of energy as long as I get my 7 hours per night. (I do have an issue with plantar fasciitis which was caused by pregnancy but age probably doesn't help!!)  Anyway, my point is that pregnancies are a bit like lottery and you don't have a ton of control over your body, no matter your age.[/quote]

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