Reply to Suggestions re Spouse over-eating / stress eating

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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds like he definitely needs therapy to deal with a lot of these issues. It also sounds like maybe that is too much for him to tackle right now. So I would table that for now in favor of talking about the messy/fast eating. It’s obviously all tied together, so you may not make much progress, but at least it could be a start.

Has he always been a messy eater? How old is your daughter? Could you talk to him about it as a way of teaching her proper table manners? My DH isn’t obese, but he definitely eats very quickly and it can be gross. He grew up in a family of restaurant workers - his dad and his grandpa owned a diner and so everyone worked there. Meals were eaten standing up by the back door in 3 minutes or less, and consisted of whatever extra food was lying around. My DH still shovels food in his face as if he’ll get fired if he’s not back at the register. We’ve been together for years but I still have to gently remind him to set down his fork and take a breath. Ask him to wipe his chin if he gets food on it etc. I’m trying to model good eating habits for our kids. I’ll ask him questions and remind him to swallow before answering, and then that stalls him for a minute. I’m not some miss manners with perfect table etiquette, but it grosses me out to have him eat massive bites and then take another bite before he has even swallowed.

He also eats a lot more than I do, and because he is so fast, he can easily finish off the dish of lasagna before I’ve had a chance to decide if I want a second helping. So I have gotten in the habit of plating everything with small portions in the kitchen and then when he is done with his plate, I ask him to wait before getting more until I am done too. We have had many many arguments about him eating all of a shared plate (like nachos, bread bowl etc) before I can have more than few bites, so the food goes on to our individual plates from the start. Otherwise I’m rushing and taking more than I need because I don’t want it to be all gone and then I’ll be hungry. He has gotten much better about this. I don’t nag him if he wants to get seconds, thirds, etc as long as he gives me a chance to catch up. And sometimes he decide he doesn’t really want that third plate of spaghetti after all!

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