It sounds like he definitely needs therapy to deal with a lot of these issues. It also sounds like maybe that is too much for him to tackle right now. So I would table that for now in favor of talking about the messy/fast eating. It’s obviously all tied together, so you may not make much progress, but at least it could be a start.

Has he always been a messy eater? How old is your daughter? Could you talk to him about it as a way of teaching her proper table manners? My DH isn’t obese, but he definitely eats very quickly and it can be gross. He grew up in a family of restaurant workers - his dad and his grandpa owned a diner and so everyone worked there. Meals were eaten standing up by the back door in 3 minutes or less, and consisted of whatever extra food was lying around. My DH still shovels food in his face as if he’ll get fired if he’s not back at the register. We’ve been together for years but I still have to gently remind him to set down his fork and take a breath. Ask him to wipe his chin if he gets food on it etc. I’m trying to model good eating habits for our kids. I’ll ask him questions and remind him to swallow before answering, and then that stalls him for a minute. I’m not some miss manners with perfect table etiquette, but it grosses me out to have him eat massive bites and then take another bite before he has even swallowed.

He also eats a lot more than I do, and because he is so fast, he can easily finish off the dish of lasagna before I’ve had a chance to decide if I want a second helping. So I have gotten in the habit of plating everything with small portions in the kitchen and then when he is done with his plate, I ask him to wait before getting more until I am done too. We have had many many arguments about him eating all of a shared plate (like nachos, bread bowl etc) before I can have more than few bites, so the food goes on to our individual plates from the start. Otherwise I’m rushing and taking more than I need because I don’t want it to be all gone and then I’ll be hungry. He has gotten much better about this. I don’t nag him if he wants to get seconds, thirds, etc as long as he gives me a chance to catch up. And sometimes he decide he doesn’t really want that third plate of spaghetti after all!

Anonymous wrote:Call me crazy but I don't think it's the three eggs or two portions of roast chicken alone that made him obese, especially if he's a man. Does he snack on junk all day? Drink a lot of alcohol? Is he sendentary?

Every man I know can eat half a chicken at a time. Three eggs is also pretty normal.

Anonymous wrote:That doesnt seem like a lot of food for a guy. Sounds like you have passed your weird food hangups to your daughter. Women and men have different dietary needs. Your spouse likely needs to excercise. The food intake wouldn't bother me but a lack of exercise or physical labor would.

What a joke. You must be obese yourself if you think that's normal. Why is America so fat?

Put him on a totally raw vegan diet, very limited. He's going to have to get used to not using food as an emotional crutch, but it takes time to unlearn. Sometimes doing a cleanse is good for that, because it forces you to stop grabbing a bite to eat whenever youre feeling down

Anonymous wrote:Call me crazy but I don't think it's the three eggs or two portions of roast chicken alone that made him obese, especially if he's a man. Does he snack on junk all day? Drink a lot of alcohol? Is he sendentary?

It absolutely will, especially if he's eating those portion sizes at every meal. How much do you weigh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gastric bypass surgery is his best bet (his only bet really) for losing that much weight and keeping it off long term.

That’s absolutely incorrect. For food addicts and those who eat to medicate PTSD, mutilating abdominal surgery simply results in wright loss, weight regain, and consequently much less health: just as fat or nearly so, but now with much worse nutritional absorption, to say nothing of risk of death. A not insignificant number of gastric bypass survivors go on to die from depression by suicide. If you’re told it is your last best hope and it fails, it’s pretty devastating.

He needs treatment fo the PTSD and neglect more than anything else. Fasting and keto may help with the physical symptoms a bit, but this is psychological more than anything.

Oh really? I've had the surgery. Have you? I love how armchair nutritionists/therapists always slam gastric bypass while NIH endorses it as the best option. Anyway, I had it 14 years ago, and I've kept off the 100 pounds I lost.

Anonymous wrote:Gastric bypass surgery is his best bet (his only bet really) for losing that much weight and keeping it off long term.

That’s absolutely incorrect. For food addicts and those who eat to medicate PTSD, mutilating abdominal surgery simply results in wright loss, weight regain, and consequently much less health: just as fat or nearly so, but now with much worse nutritional absorption, to say nothing of risk of death. A not insignificant number of gastric bypass survivors go on to die from depression by suicide. If you’re told it is your last best hope and it fails, it’s pretty devastating.

He needs treatment fo the PTSD and neglect more than anything else. Fasting and keto may help with the physical symptoms a bit, but this is psychological more than anything.

Anonymous wrote:That doesnt seem like a lot of food for a guy. Sounds like you have passed your weird food hangups to your daughter. Women and men have different dietary needs. Your spouse likely needs to excercise. The food intake wouldn't bother me but a lack of exercise or physical labor would.

She said he is 300 lbs. go troll a thread where someone is naming their child Brooks, not one with a life threatening medical issue.

Anonymous wrote:Gastric bypass surgery is his best bet (his only bet really) for losing that much weight and keeping it off long term.

Nope. He needs major help with emotions and trauma

That doesnt seem like a lot of food for a guy. Sounds like you have passed your weird food hangups to your daughter. Women and men have different dietary needs. Your spouse likely needs to excercise. The food intake wouldn't bother me but a lack of exercise or physical labor would.

Gastric bypass surgery is his best bet (his only bet really) for losing that much weight and keeping it off long term.