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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did, not as the ONLY factor but a main factor.

I am an only and feel a deep sense of loss that I have no sibling. And growing up, I hated having my parents full attention. Nothing went unnoticed and there was so much pressure to be perfect, because I was basically all they had and they weren't going to be embarrassed by a failure.

The other factor was my first is a boy and I wanted to try for a girl, of course knowing I could actutally end up with two boys but maybe that would be ok too.

Only a year in, but it's been great. I did in fact get my girl and I'm totally obsessed with her. There's been typical sibling jealousy but it has been wonderful for my first social skills wise. As an only, I felt my social skills suffered so I always prioritized socialization for my son but he was still really timid and used to let other kids walk all over him. Since she arrived, he has really come out of his shell and become much more assertive. Like a totally different kid and I'm not the only one to notice. [/quote]

There's a lot to unpack here. First, your experience as an only child was your experience and due to who you were as a child and your parents' parenting. I know plenty of adult only children - those that loved it had parents that weren't total introverts and treated them like normal kids, not their precious Golden Child. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but it sounds like your parents didn't do a great job of parenting an only. Second, take a close look at the language you use to describe your girl versus your boy. Your kids WILL see that favoritism and it WILL impact them. That will be as big of a parenting mistake as your parents putting too much pressure on you. Now that you have these kids, it's on you to do better.  [/quote]

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