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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. So I did a little research on BDSM.....OMG THIS IS TOTALLY HIM!!!! I feel a little slow actually. He has tried to talk to me about this, but I was not "getting it" because I feel like a lot of the lingo has double meanings, and being that I didn't know anything about BDSM, I was misunderstanding him. Wow, what a revelation! I have some thinking to do about all of this.[/quote]

When you do your thinking, consider the fact that he couldn't just talk to you openly and frankly about what he wanted, and ASK you what you thought and felt about it.

If he can't do those things he is immature. A mature person would not be using "lingo" with "double meanings" and just hoping you'd catch on.

Even if you think you're interested in BDSM, the non-sexual control examples you mention earlier are still red flags. While you ponder BDSM you also need to sit down and think through, even make a list of, the ways he tries to control you, even small ones. They do add up. And they won't change. If you really look, you are likely to find he exerts more little instances of control than you even realized.[/quote]

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