Reply to Children of parents in sexless marriage - how did it affect your relationships and marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sex-starved DW here. After much thought and frustration I have concluded that kids want kids to be happy. [b] Their stability and comfort are their priority as long as their parents are civil to each other.  I see nothing wrong with letting kids know that your loyalty is to the family as a unit rather than pretending that everything revolves around romantic love.[/b]  Their choices will be determined more by their personalities and the era in which they live than just your example.  Many more people use drugs and have tattoos than did so 40 years ago because these choices are far more socially acceptable.[/quote]

This.  To be honest, my parents' crappy marriage and divorce prepared me for my own marriage in some really helpful ways. It made me hold no illusions about what it's like to be a child of divorce and an adult child of divorce, and even in the best situations it's pretty tough sometimes, so I'm all the more determined to take good care of my own marriage.  I hold no illusions about second or third marriages either.  If they had divorced earlier, that would have meant more years shuttling back and forth.  There are down sides either way.

Kids want a stable and comfortable home where the adults behave well even when they disagree.  I really, really with that my parents could have been civil to each other.  Would it have saved their marriage?  I don't know.  But living in a mostly peaceful and respectful home, even with some very real problems in the marriage, would have been way better than their constant fighting.  What did NOT help me is my mom constantly patting herself on the back that having an affair with her f*cked-up loser boyfriend was "setting a good example".  Teenagers will NOT want to give up their single home and lie happily in their new beds in your new place, dozing off content in the knowledge that their father is getting laid in the room next door.[/quote]

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