Reply to Should we relocate to be closer to family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I would definitely move closer to family. My DH and I are trying to figure out how to do that now. Work has always made it impossible. [b]Having blood connections becomes more and more important[/b], and you've had the great opportunity to leave and expand your world. I will add that having moved away was really great for us and I'm glad we did it. But now ready for more of a sense of belonging.

If I were you I'd come up with areas that work that are close to family. Then get on something like Realtor.com or Redfin.com and start searching for houses. See what you can get. Get an idea on pricing, etc. I think if you started seeing a life that could come together near family it would make the decision much easier.[/quote]

It really doesn't. [b]I know you people want to believe that having a blood relative means they'll always love you and care for you, but there are millions of examples on this board, and others I have witnessed in real life, that do not bear this out.[/b] People who love you will care for you. Those people don't have to be related to you.[/quote]

PP, I'm the other PP. I agree with you. What I have found for us is that while we've definitely made friends, and even good friends, at the end of the day those friends have their own families, their lives change, jobs, divorce.... For the people who have found true, lifelong support systems beyond their own families, I think that is wonderful. Our close friends group started shifting, [b]first with someone's divorce and subsequent remarriage to someone on the West Coast, then with another's a challenging child situation, then a job loss then new job in another city. Suddenly, we all were scattered across the country[/b] and that's when I started realizing that I wanted something more . . . permanent.

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But this happens with family as well, yes? People get divorced, people move, people experience losses. Also, you get to pick your friends, but you don't get to pick your relatives. I was so excited that my husband has a sister because I never had one (only a brother), but she and I are not at all close. (Neither are she and my husband). We have nothing in common at all and her kids are either indifferent or rude to ours, so they won't be close with their cousins. However, my best friend and I have kids of similar ages and they are close. They fight like family and they love each other like family. They both consider each other to be cousins (and my best friend's family is very close and her kids have six cousins with whom they are great friends). I'm happy for all the people whose families end up being their best friends, but it's not like that for a lot of people, so I think anyone who automatically says that being close to family is the best thing is misguided (probably not on purpose, you're just using your own experience and projecting it).[/quote]

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