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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As an adoptee (myself) and a mom by surrogacy and donor embryo, I wanted to second the advice to look at Adoptions Together and at open adoption. We liked AT when we were looking at adoption.

And as for open or closed, the reality is that in the age of genetic testing (like 23 and Me), adoption can't be hidden anymore. And believe me, the anger and betrayal your child will feel for you if they find out you lied and hid their adoption from you.... it will be horrible for you and cruel to them. Please do not start your journey as a parent with an act of cruelty towards your future child. I promise, they will not love you less knowing you adopted them. That's just not how it works. I strongly encourage you to see a qualified therapist to help you understand the adoption dynamic and to confront your own feelings about losing the biological connection.

Also second the advice to consider adopting from your home country, if that's an option now. Since the Hague Convention it's much harder to adopt infants internationally. It may be easier as a citizen.[/quote]

Closed adoption does not mean hidden adoption. I was adopted in the 80s and my parents chose a closed adoption but I have ALWAYS known I was adopted. [/quote]

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