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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was recently talking to someone and they described a male friend as marrying well because the woman was from a wealthy family. Both the husband and wife work upper middle class jobs, but the husband has student loans and the wife's parents are easily in the top 1%. I never thought of a woman's wealth as something taken into consideration in a relationship, maybe her education level but never her literal salary/wealth. Am I being naive? Do some men want to marry or date wealthier women, in a sort of gendered reversed gold digger scenario?[/quote]

As a man, I highly doubt it. But first, top 1% is not nearly enough to qualify as "marrying well" when you're talking about the parents. I'm in the top 1% and I don't have enough money to substantially improve my kids' lives. A car at 16, college, MAYBE $100k help to a downpayment. So I think you first need to change the definition of what it really means to "marry well." Second, the few guys I know who married wealthy women really wish they could delete the wealthy part. They fell in love with who they fell in love with, but in all three cases I know, the man feels like the woman's family constantly imposes on their life. Part of it is because these guys have all either been a CEO or developed a family mega business and are used to being in charge of everything. Another part is that the money is so substantial and the wife's father considers it to be such an important aspect of "family" that it starts dominating most life decisions. All three of my friends basically feel like they are playing second fiddle to a FIL boss. Men seek out women who are hot and have other good characteristics (in all three of these cases, the women possessed those attributes). I have never in my life heard any of my male friends even one mention how much money their date/girlfriend/wife makes as a positive attribute.[/quote]

Ummm...do you not see how much of a leg up you are giving your kid? Car, college with no debt and $100,000. What kind of weird planet do you live on that you don’t see how huge that is. [/quote]

I think he means "substantially improve" from his own life. Meaning this may have been the help he received as well. Noted that yes, debt-free college, car, home down payment are enormous legs up that most people do not receive.
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PP here, I don't see how that's relevant to the thread. Perhaps the first PP didn't read the thread title. It was about "marrying well" in terms of family wealth. What I was talking about is what I can provide my child, not my child's spouse or their family. Paying for my child's college and buying them a car at 16 does very little to benefit their future spouse when they are 30 years old and finally decide to marry, much less their future children a few years later than that. My point was that the most the spouse will benefit from "marrying well" is $100k help with a downpayment. I don't think you'd see anyone claiming they "married well" or "married into money" if it consisted of one 100k check one time. If that's called marrying into wealth, then you must be starting from a position of destitution. My intent saying all of this and my previous post is simply that at this level, I don't believe money affects almost ANYONE'S marriage desirability, and much much less so for a man, where again I believe more a wealthy woman can actually be a negative factor.[/quote]

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