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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure what help OP is asking for. I have an only.  Its been hard for her during this period because she is lonely. Is that what you mean OP?[/quote]

OP here. I am unable to have another. I am looking for help/resources on how to parent DC successfully. I was an only for a long time until my parents had a late in life child and I hated being an only and was so happy for my sibling (we are very close). I feel very sad I cannot give this to DC. [/quote]

Please read "One and Only" as others have suggested. The full title is pretty telling: "One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One." It really may help you come to much more peace with your family!

I worry that because you are close to your sibling you are primed to be always disappointed in your family structure. It doesn't have to be like that. Even if you adopted another child, you would have absolutely zero guarantee that both children would ever be close; they might even actively dislike each other.

If your sadness really is affecting you, please, look into getting some counseling or therapy at least short-term to help you get an outsider's objective perspective on family sizes and roles. It really can help to talk to someone who is not your spouse or a friend or relative -- someone who will be very frank with you.

You are grieving a loss, OP; you maybe expected your own family would look and feel like the family in which you grew up, especially regarding your sibling relationship, right? You now know your family is not going to be as you expected and you are grieving that kind of like grieving a death. It's OK to recognize that loss of an expectation. But it's not OK if your sadness makes you look on your own child as somehow "less than" because he or she isn't accompanied by a sibling through life. That's why I suggest you get some good therapy to work through the grief and [i]embrace the child and family you DO have rather than continuing to mourn the one you imagined you'd have[/i]. Does that make sense, OP?

Consider this too: Your sibling can be a terrific aunt or uncle to your child.

And: With an only child you do have particular opportunity to be involved much more, if you choose, in your child's school and activities and interests and down time. To be clear, I know parents of more than one do all that, but it's objectively simpler with one. Look at the book for more about it..[/quote]

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