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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts. [/quote]

Older sister doesn't get to call the shots on what younger sister wears. Or, what you as an adult decide to purchase with your own money. I was the older sister in this equation, btw.[/quote]

OP here with a follow up question. Older DD will get dressed and then complain that younger DD “copied her” because they are both wearing black leggings and a T-shirt (not the same one.) Or running shorts and a tank top. My feeling is this is just how girls dress these days (I wish they’d wear more “real” clothes but not the hill I wish to die on.)

Is it reasonable for older DD to be upset about this? [b]And if not, how do I say effective “get over it” while still being empathetic?[/b] She’s soooo testy lately.[/quote]

Why do you need to be "empathetic?"  Your older girl is being a spoiled brat and you're more concerned about coddling her and accommodating her sense of entitlement, than you are about being FAIR to your younger child.
What is wrong with you OP?   Why do you hate your younger child?[/quote]

OP here. It’s quite the opposite. I am very close with younger DD and struggle in my relationship with older DD. She’s always accusing me of treating her unfairly. It breaks my heart - she was my first baby and we used to get along great. Now she’s always mad about something.[/quote]

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