Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.

+1

Older sister doesn't get to call the shots on what younger sister wears. Or, what you as an adult decide to purchase with your own money. I was the older sister in this equation, btw.

OP here with a follow up question. Older DD will get dressed and then complain that younger DD “copied her” because they are both wearing black leggings and a T-shirt (not the same one.) Or running shorts and a tank top. My feeling is this is just how girls dress these days (I wish they’d wear more “real” clothes but not the hill I wish to die on.)

Is it reasonable for older DD to be upset about this? And if not, how do I say effective “get over it” while still being empathetic? She’s soooo testy lately.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.

+1

Older sister doesn't get to call the shots on what younger sister wears. Or, what you as an adult decide to purchase with your own money. I was the older sister in this equation, btw.

OP here with a follow up question. Older DD will get dressed and then complain that younger DD “copied her” because they are both wearing black leggings and a T-shirt (not the same one.) Or running shorts and a tank top. My feeling is this is just how girls dress these days (I wish they’d wear more “real” clothes but not the hill I wish to die on.)

Is it reasonable for older DD to be upset about this? And if not, how do I say effective “get over it” while still being empathetic? She’s soooo testy lately.

Why do you need to be "empathetic?" Your older girl is being a spoiled brat and you're more concerned about coddling her and accommodating her sense of entitlement, than you are about being FAIR to your younger child.
What is wrong with you OP? Why do you hate your younger child?

OP here. It’s quite the opposite. I am very close with younger DD and struggle in my relationship with older DD. She’s always accusing me of treating her unfairly. It breaks my heart - she was my first baby and we used to get along great. Now she’s always mad about something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 9 year old doesn't dress the exact way my 12 year old does. it would be one thing if they were 13/15, but the 9 year old is a little girl, shouldn't be that hard to get them trendy things that are age appropriate.

12 year old wants some individuality, not hard to understand, especially when they are together 24/7. and of course a younger wants to look like her, but you can assist by buying fun stuff that is different and age appropriate for both.
I have these ages, and yes they both have t-shirts and nike shorts, but not the same ones. I don't think they have one item the same

I feel like all the responses are from the younger sisters. I see why she would want to look like big sis, but she's 9? a 12 yo dresses differently

I am the younger sister. I'd only get a few outfits when I was younger new and I'd only wear those and refuse my sisters as we didn't get along (a lot was due to my parents) and I was not going to wear her old clothing. Eventually they got me a few more outfits but she always got more, still does. (but, that's great for me as they still play favorites as she can get them now or they can go without).

I am the PP above. I am not trying to say the younger shouldn't get new clothes. I am saying that it shouldn't be that hard for them to be different. I do not make my younger DD wear anything handed down that she doesn't want to. Most of the time, she doesn't keep the items and I donate unless they are basics or fancy dresses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.

+1

Older sister doesn't get to call the shots on what younger sister wears. Or, what you as an adult decide to purchase with your own money. I was the older sister in this equation, btw.

OP here with a follow up question. Older DD will get dressed and then complain that younger DD “copied her” because they are both wearing black leggings and a T-shirt (not the same one.) Or running shorts and a tank top. My feeling is this is just how girls dress these days (I wish they’d wear more “real” clothes but not the hill I wish to die on.)

Is it reasonable for older DD to be upset about this? And if not, how do I say effective “get over it” while still being empathetic? She’s soooo testy lately.

Why do you need to be "empathetic?" Your older girl is being a spoiled brat and you're more concerned about coddling her and accommodating her sense of entitlement, than you are about being FAIR to your younger child.
What is wrong with you OP? Why do you hate your younger child?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 9 year old doesn't dress the exact way my 12 year old does. it would be one thing if they were 13/15, but the 9 year old is a little girl, shouldn't be that hard to get them trendy things that are age appropriate.

12 year old wants some individuality, not hard to understand, especially when they are together 24/7. and of course a younger wants to look like her, but you can assist by buying fun stuff that is different and age appropriate for both.
I have these ages, and yes they both have t-shirts and nike shorts, but not the same ones. I don't think they have one item the same

I feel like all the responses are from the younger sisters. I see why she would want to look like big sis, but she's 9? a 12 yo dresses differently

I am the younger sister. I'd only get a few outfits when I was younger new and I'd only wear those and refuse my sisters as we didn't get along (a lot was due to my parents) and I was not going to wear her old clothing. Eventually they got me a few more outfits but she always got more, still does. (but, that's great for me as they still play favorites as she can get them now or they can go without).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.

+1

Older sister doesn't get to call the shots on what younger sister wears. Or, what you as an adult decide to purchase with your own money. I was the older sister in this equation, btw.

OP here with a follow up question. Older DD will get dressed and then complain that younger DD “copied her” because they are both wearing black leggings and a T-shirt (not the same one.) Or running shorts and a tank top. My feeling is this is just how girls dress these days (I wish they’d wear more “real” clothes but not the hill I wish to die on.)

Is it reasonable for older DD to be upset about this? And if not, how do I say effective “get over it” while still being empathetic? She’s soooo testy lately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 9 year old doesn't dress the exact way my 12 year old does. it would be one thing if they were 13/15, but the 9 year old is a little girl, shouldn't be that hard to get them trendy things that are age appropriate.

12 year old wants some individuality, not hard to understand, especially when they are together 24/7. and of course a younger wants to look like her, but you can assist by buying fun stuff that is different and age appropriate for both.
I have these ages, and yes they both have t-shirts and nike shorts, but not the same ones. I don't think they have one item the same

I feel like all the responses are from the younger sisters. I see why she would want to look like big sis, but she's 9? a 12 yo dresses differently

Anonymous wrote:my 9 year old doesn't dress the exact way my 12 year old does. it would be one thing if they were 13/15, but the 9 year old is a little girl, shouldn't be that hard to get them trendy things that are age appropriate.

12 year old wants some individuality, not hard to understand, especially when they are together 24/7. and of course a younger wants to look like her, but you can assist by buying fun stuff that is different and age appropriate for both.
I have these ages, and yes they both have t-shirts and nike shorts, but not the same ones. I don't think they have one item the same

Anonymous wrote:No way the older sister gets to set rules for what the younger “is allowed” to have or wear. The suggestion to give them each a budget and list of things needed is a good one, but you may want final approval on purchases as sometimes tweens and young teens can try to emulate the too sexy clothes seen on entertainers. I can understand the older sister not wanting to be “twins”, but would knock down the controlling/bullying type behavior as will only get worse if not checked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.

Yeah. Wth. Older sister sucks.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's fair for your older daughter to get all new clothes AND forbid her sister from choosing whatever she wants among the few new clothes she gets. Tell older DD she's being ridiculous--no one can "claim" flip flops or solid colored running shorts.