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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]4 is hard and Especially  now. 
We allow so many things and pick battles. We never did much tv/iPad and it was always very scheduled and not random so she asks sometimes but it doesn't get her anywhere. 
Schedule is pretty rigid these days and it helps. Clean up is together since she does the "but I can't do it" song and dance. 
I try really really hard not to lose it all day. I set consequences that I'm willing to go through with "mommy leaves room if she's stalling putting on pjs" ," toys get thrown out if they are not picked up" (I have thrown out one toy (a plastic something) once 4 months ago and it was a giant tantrum but we kept firm. 
We do a lot of together time, reading, playing, outside as we can, jumping in puddles, getting muddy. If she asks to sit in my lap I always say yes. If she wants to be carried up and down stairs (like her baby sister) I oblige for a couple steps then or promise to do it when the baby is put down. 
Lots and lots of praise for things she's been doing well for a while but needs additional happy vibes from me (using her fork, asking for water and saying please, bringing toys tj her sister, washing hands). It's the "you did a good job doing x" all day here. [/quote]

I love the fact that you always let her climb in your lap and don’t immediately deny wanting to be carried upstairs like her baby sister. I wish I’d done this (my kids are big now, and I definitely didn’t always let them). Reading Leahy now, though, has convinced me that connection is the key. If your kid feels heard/seen/safe/loved the rest of it can be worked out. I spent too much time figuring out consequences and trying to be firm and I wish now I’d focused more on just connecting. Eye contact, listening etc.

Anyway/ sad mom or older kids here. Give yours an extra hug- you won’t regret it![/quote]

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