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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're a really good mother who has tried to make it easy for your child to have a relationship with his son. Hats off to you for going so long with having just a verbal agreement and while $400 is pretty laughable I'm glad he's shown some sense of responsibility by paying child support without having to get legal.

What do you think the driving reasons are for this sudden attempt to get legal? Somehow trying to avoid child support? Do you suspect he plans to move? A sudden realization that he has no real relationship with his son and is trying to do what he thinks he can to make up for lost time? He disagrees with your parenting on some fundamental level and wants a say? With middle and high school on the way he wants a say in where your son goes to school?  Is bored self quarantining and wants a playmate on Sundays? Where is this coming from? [/quote]

If mom and dad both contribute $400 a month, depending on the child it is plenty.  We only spend more because of activities and not all kids do as much as ours.[/quote]

$400 is enough for what exactly?  My child can eat $200 of that, so that leaves the other $200 for a place to live, clothes, medical, etc. In what universe is that enough?

I am the OP and I have a an ok job (make about $100,000).  I don't consider us poor, but every penny I earn goes towards caring for our child. We live a very modest life.  [/quote]

You still have expenses when you don't have children, including paying for a place to live. $800 a month specifically on kid related expenses is a reasonable amount.

I don't quite understand your scenario. You say you live in the same building. How often has your ex seen his son? Do they know each other? Has he ever wanted more time with his son?[/quote]

Where are you getting $800 per month?  I most certainly contribute more that.

I pay an extra $1000 per month just to have an extra room that my son lives in.  Presumably, this is split in half so my portion of that would be $500 and his dad's would be $500.  After care program is $325 per month.  I dont know where you live so that $800 is a reasonable amount from both parents, but in this area it's not.

I can't live further out even if I wanted to because his dad never wanted to drop off or pick up so I have to live close enough to put my 8 hours in but also be able to drop off in the morning and pick up in the afternoon.

We moved into this building so my son can be close to his father because I believed that he needs both of his parents regardless of how much he was contributing financially. Of course, they know each other.  He sees him once a week because that is all my ex wants to do.  I would very much welcome help with homework and dinner, but that is not something he is willing to do. He strickly wants Sundays where all they do is play and watch movies. [/quote]

It doesn’t work that way (unless you agree to that specially). It is based on a formula. If your ex has little to no income, frankly you’re lucky to get $400 a month as it sounds like that DOES cover at least a part of his expenses.

I get that you’ve been doing the hard work for 11 years and it feels unfair. But, your kid has two parents whether you like it or not and you are taking his money for child support so I think it’s reasonable that he get a say and some formal visitation. The court order is good to protect both of you. [/quote]

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