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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the disorder is narcissism, you don't. You let go and go no contact. They aren't capable of healthy relationships. Best to end it ASAP. Save yourself. [/quote]

I am NP but have asked many times for someone to help me figure out if my DH is a narcissist or just has many narcissistic tendencies like his (suspected) narcissist mother. Is there some trick for knowing if it's innate or just learned behavior?[/quote]

Same boat aspie husband whose condition presents as very self-centered and narcisissitic.

He's been Dx. He hurts people's feelings all the time and cannot be relied on for anything. He only has the limited wherewithal to do his daily routine for himself - he eats every meal before his kids/family, he doesn't help anyone, he doesn't see things that need to be done, he gets angry when asked something, he gets super angry when asked about something he was supposed to have done. He won't see the door open or unlocked or the house on fire if he is doing his routine - coffee, bathroom time, iphone news. If any kid needs something from 6-8am too bad. he'll maybe leave them a banana like you'd fill the dog bowl. But no interaction.  He can sit at family dinners and not say a single word or even look at someone (esp since he already ate his fill at the kitchen stove like a madman). He never greets you or asks how you are doing.

This article had a good example of the different communication and feelings acknowledgement a narc versus an aspie is capable of.

http://www.drpsychmom.com/2015/08/28/aspergers-when-narcissism-just-doesnt-explain-your-partners-inability-to-empathize/

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