Reply to If you love you partner with a personality disorder

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you love you partner with a personality disorder"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you manage to keep you relationship together?[/quote]

Just to clarify, things like ADD or aspergers are not personality disorders. The latter is a structural brain issue where connections, messages, observations, processing are not made/ go not always go through in the brain.[/quote]

PP above you. I included ADHD and Asperger's just because those are the only diagnoses my husband has, and he is already proving irrational and abusive with those two. He also has some sort of defiant, oppositional streak which makes everything worse (he goes out of his way to sabotage certain important events), but it hasn't been diagnosed - maybe that's the personality disorder, but it's not official.

The bottom line is that there are plenty of personality disorders that patients refuse to seek help for, or which have not yet been crystallized into a diagnosis, and they all need to be managed just as seriously as if they were official.[/quote]

Same here. It’s exhausting and unfruitful.  Aspergers at this age is quite untreatable. ADD at least has some meds.

ASD all one can do once at the regular adult temper tantrums stage is treat the side “anxiety” (anger explosions).

What I hate most is the [b]inability to have a back and forth conversation at dinner, with the kids, with me. He just sits there, literally saying nothing and thinking nothing, not even reacting to what is going on in the house.[/b]  His parents are the same way . I’ve given up leading all the conversations and questions; it’s too exhausting for more than a day or two.

But ASD is not a personality disorder, it is a neuro disability, that presents as personality disorders such as narcissism. The lack of executive functioning skills, poor verbal communication, and bipolar-ness (can only be 100% non emotional or angry - only two emotions are demonstrated) are never ending as well.

He may think he’s one thing but his behaviors demonstrates he is something else. The behaviors are what matter, not what someone neuroAtypical thinks about himself. [/quote]

Oh my gosh, this is my husband completely. I saw it only here and there early on, but it has gotten worse and worse over the years. I believe his mother has narcissistic personality disorder, so I assumed this was some result of that, but sometimes I wonder if it ASD. My teenage son recently revealed that he sometimes thinks he may be on the spectrum (he has a close friend who has been diagnosed with ASD and he sees similarities--I had him evaluated in elementary school and it was ruled out). He worries he will end up like his father. About once a week I decide I cannot take it anymore and plan to call a lawyer the next day, then he starts engaging again and will go 5 or 6 days without the horribly mean comments. It's an exhausting cycle. We have been married for over 20 years. If I knew then what I know now, I don't think I would have married him--but I can't imagine life without my wonderful kids, so I can't say I regret it.[/quote]

Get your son help. Behavioral therapy and Executive functioning coach (if needed). The former will help him learn or mirror empathy and conversational skills at least. Being aware is a big step.[/quote]

Yep, he has had both and still lots of executive functioning support. He hasn't had behavioral in a few years, but now that he has expressed his concern that he doesn't always feel empathy--plus he has anxiety--we're working on finding the right CBT. Here's my concern. It only became clear to me about five years into my marriage, that my husband had been counseled how to mirror empathy and conversational skills. Now I see that in the long run, what really matters is the complete lack of ability to actually feel it. My husband has zero empathy--and his mother lacks it, too. I feel badly that my son may wind up the same way. It doesn't appear that counseling ever compensates for that. All it really does is cover up the problem. I don't want him to hide it just long enough to have a wife and kids, then decide he's too tired of faking it, which is what my husband did. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics