Reply to Need ideas on how to quickly change the subject from adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here

[quote=Anonymous] I'd be worried that the [b]OP is communicating to her daughter that adoption/her background is something shameful [/b]-- it's just another way that families sometimes get formed.[/quote]

Really??? I thought it was communicating that her business is hers and she doesn't [b]HAVE[/b] to explain herself if she doesn't want to... no shame in that.

I adopted because I wanted to be a MOTHER. not an Ambassador... Uh... no thanks.

I'd rather leave that up to the politicians and not burden DC's these tiny little shoulders with something they did NOT sign up for.

Key word here is FILTERING... a child must be empowered to tell his/her own story if and when they so choose and if others do not understand that then too bad.

[i]In the poetic words of Jon Stewart  "I am not your monkey".[/i]
[/quote]

A couple thoughts here -- empowering a child to share/not share his/her story is important.  There's actually a great program - W.I.S.E Up - put together by the Center for Adoption Education and Support.  But by refusing to discuss any details in response to innocent questions (such as "did you adopt your daughter from China?"), you are not empowering her - you're communicating that the fact of adoption is shameful and should not be discussed.  We share lots about our adoption journey, while also letting DS know that certain aspects of his story are indeed his, are personal, and can be shared/not be shared as he chooses.

Yes, people adopt because they want to be parents, which is a natural motivation.  But by adopting transracially, you are doing a lot more than just becoming a parent.  You're becoming a visible and transracial family.  Attitudes like the OP's show how many homestudies are poorly done - there's a lot to consider in adopting transracially, and it doesn't look like OP did a good job preparing herself.[/quote]

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