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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Puh-lease.  This is what you get for listening to a conversation you shouldn't have.  There wasn't anything 'vicious' and it was about his relationship with her, not you - and she's right in one area.  Given the divorce rates, it's not unlikely that you will get divorced.  No matter what happens in your relationship with your DH, she will always be his mother.  She may not be the MIL you'd like but it's what you've got.  Your DH handled it appropriately. Move on.

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Yes she will always be the mother.  But the wife will always be the wife.  Why is there a priority of one over the other.

I think the MIL is vicious.  She is actively trying to get her son to put his wife as less of a priority.  She is interfering in their relationship however the OP being the wife is not interfering in the relationship between mother and son. This is a really twisted and weird way to look at these relationships.  Why get married if you assume you will get divorced and really so what if you do get divorced, shouldn't you have love and commitment while you are married.  Is this mom so threatened that her child will have love with someone else in his life?

Op never trust your MIL again and stay away from her as much as you can.  I wouldn't talk to your DH about it, he handled it fine however with these types of insecure women and MIL's there is no genuine relationship to be had with them, they are unfortunately damaged and there is nothing you can do to win her over.  She is actively undermining your marriage, don't ignore this, she is showing you who she is, telling you that you aren't family to her, acknowledge that to yourself and move on.  [/quote]

Vicious doesn't mean what you think it means.[/quote]

Vicious to be deliberately cruel or immoral.  Yes I feel that interfering in someone else's marriage by trying to undermine it which is what this mother is trying to do is cruel to both her son and the OP and it certainly isn't a moral thing to do.  Would any female like someone else interfering in their marriage?  No I wouldn't think so.

Would anyone like their husband's friends telling him that hey he will probably get divorced so don't worry about celebrating your birthday, going out drinking with them is more important, they've known him longer.  Would you ever tell your DH to not see his mother on her birthday because your needs are more important than her.  It is absolutely crazy to think this behaviour is normal or that if someone was telling your DH to put less priority in your marriage it would be ok with any poster on this thread.

Marriage to most people I know is incredibly important to them and their well being. Most people get married wanting it to be for life, setting up a life together, having children, starting new families, it isn't a few dates. For someone to try to come between a married couple is something unforgivable to me, it is a deliberate act and it is cruel, not to mention an incredibly juvenile and selfish way to live.

Doesn't this mother want her son to be happy, doesn't she want him to live his life how he wants.  No she wants to control him by telling him to put his blood family first, she is trying to make him feel that his wife, the person he has chosen to spend his life with and have children with wont' be there for him like she will be.  A mother like this is mentally unstable.

There are a few posters on here who keep saying that blood family comes first.  However when you marry you create your own new family, it becomes the nuclear family and your family of origin become your extended family.  To see family as only people that have a blood connection to you is somehow stunted to me and I'm sure those families do have higher rates of divorce but not because the wife isn't blood related but because those families have dysfunctional relationships and don't realise it.

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