Reply to Does your spouse do anything, anything at all, for birthdays or other occasions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a dad and I have not only attended every kid birthday party, but have also arranged the event, invited everyone, and (needless to say) paid for it. So much "emotional labor" for me![/quote]

Why are you putting “emotional labor” in quotes?  When I plan a meeting at work, invite people, set up a venue, and set an agenda, I definitely consider it work.  Most of the time it’s actually a lot less work than planning a kids birthday party.  
[/quote]

DP. I’m a single dad and do it all. So I agree with the quoted emotional labor if he was trying to minimize or mock those who complain about it. I’m honored to serve my children and plan their parties. It’s no labor for me. If it is it’s one of love. They will be small for only so long. [/quote]

I can see how this is a thing that, in some ways, is probably easier if you're a single parent and know that you have to just do it. It starts feeling onerous when the person who is supposed to be your partner in life (and co-parent of your children) just nopes out of all of the effort associated with maintaining the family and the relationships in it. It's less about the amount of work and more about the lack of respect to the effort your partner makes and unwillingness to engage in relationship work with your family. Your family and marriage needs more engagement than just bringing home a paycheck, you know?[/quote]

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