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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Anonymous wrote:
You just think the grandparents are so carefree because they aren't looking to you, they'd look to your parents for any help they needed. Your parents probably gave them the help they needed either without complaint because it was expected or they complained amongst their own generation. Your parents are looking to you, naturally. You just think they are too needy because you don't want to help them.

[b]Not true.

I would have remembered if my grandparents had shown up to every soccer game, every dance recital and every school play. They had their own lives. Meanwhile, my parents and ILs completely smother us and then ask about sleepovers.[/b] [/quote]

Same here. Grandma is the most self sufficient and independent of all the older relatives. Her kids are all takers and constantly need or expect something from their adult kids. I think some of it may also be economic. Grandma is very frugal, saved for years, and has been comfortable in retirement not only because she put away enough but as importantly because she doesn't want to spend a lot. Her house is awesome and she has lived in it since the 1950s. It has original 1950s blue ceramic tile and fixtures in the bathroom, original flat front cabinets in the kitchen, parquet floors etc. She will repair things that are broken, has a housekeeper that comes once a week, but pushes back on all her kids attempts to get her to remodel. My parents and their siblings on the other hand are constantly redecorating, upsizing downsizing and remodeling. Grandma just shakes her head at the amount of money they have wasted in remodeling, redecorating, and real estate transaction fees and commissions.

Many boomers have not saved enough to last them into their 80s or 90s . Even the ones that have saved will not be able to keep up the lifestyle that they are used to living. This is probably creating intense insecurity that leads them to smother their own adult children. [/quote]

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