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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]None of these seem like a big deal honestly. I understand that you’re super type A and it bothers you, but maybe just don’t sweat the small stuff. [/quote]

OP here. It is a pretty big deal actually. Not showing up with the right tux accessories means we have to spend half a vacation day at a crummy tux rental store instead of doing planned activities. I am laid back and don't want to nag DH. I feel like more and more things are falling through the cracks or winding up on my shoulders. His job isn't stressful and it's probably less stress than my job (I make more money too with less hours).

He's very much against medications and thinks ADHD is bogus[/quote]

You need to let him fail and experience the consequences.  Plan less activities, and plan things you can do without him.[/quote]

The problem with ADHD is that experiencing failure doesn’t really help. XDH has ADHD (and was medicated) and really regretted some of his own failures. But often people with ADHD get defensive or passive-aggressive about the failures (why are you worked up about spending our vacation in the tux rental shop?). Another problem is that the very nature of ADHD is that there will always be new, very different failures—he can’t control it even if he wants to control it.

For OP’s DH, though, a few major failures on things that are personally important to him (hobby, work) might motivate him to start meds. Not you complaining on a tux shop, though—in his mind that’s your problem not his.

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