Reply to Is it bad to tell your kid they are annoying?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I tend to say “you’re [i]being[/i] annoying” or “[i]that’s[/i] annoying” rather than “you’re annoying”. Small distinctions, and still probably not ideal, but I don’t think it’s so bad for kids to be made aware when their behavior is having a negative effect on others.[/quote]
I don't think kids can make that distinction.  I think even adults have a hard time with it.

In my opinion, words from parents can be so powerful to a kid's psyche that it's best not to do this, even when the kid's behavior warrants it. I[b] remember my mom saying "I don't like you right now." and how hurtful it was.[/b] I can't remember what I was doing and I'm sure I was being a total PITA and completely unlikeable, but my thought was - "Even my own mom doesn't like me. Nobody likes me." I remember it 35 years later.

In OP's situation, it's not helpful or necessary to the conversation.  Just ask him to stop backseat driving or whatever the annoying behavior is.[/quote]

I'm sure that hurt!

but "I don't like what you are doing right now.  You are jumping on the bed after I made it and I don't like it. Please stop."  should NOT be hurtful.  A parent is allowed to say that what someone is doing is annoying, mean, hurtful, too loud, too soft, etc. etc - that's how we grow and learn! [/quote]

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