Reply to The impossiblity of mothering

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi, OP. I was that kid, I remember telling myself "punishments don't matter, just stay strong and wait it out." I was very smart, had ADHD, and had very authoritarian parents. Everything became a power struggle because their response to my stubbornness and provocation (which it was! Intentionally to get them mad!) was to double down and be stricter and harder. Which made me double down even more. It was awful and the teen years were REALLY bad. My kids are young still, but my first is very stubborn (once she decides NO, there is no amount of pressure or bribery that can get her to change her mind) and I decided long ago that I was not going to engage in the same power struggles that my parents did with me. I can't really speak to the teen years, but I highly recommend treating him as the logical person he is - the books recommended above are great with that, but may be designed for younger kids. Model good behaviors (being thoughtful, apologizing when you are in the wrong, etc.) and get him a psychological evaluation just in case. I am a normal, kind person now, but that's despite of my childhood, not because of it.

It would be helpful if you would provide specific examples, so we can get a sense of whether this is behavior in the normal range or not.[/quote]

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