Reply to Vent about kids’ helping out with cleanup

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[quote=Anonymous]For my kids, what works is "first then".  I don't tell my kids "if you clean up you can . . . " or "if you don't clean up you can't . . . "  I just tell them to clean up (or do whatever), and then nothing else happens until it's clean.  I might say "clean up and then we'll go to the park" or "please clean up and then we'll have lunch".  If, during that time when they haven't yet cleaned up, they started to do something that wasn't cleaning up, then I'd intervene.  So, if a friend stopped by to ask them to come out to play, I might say "sure, he'll be out as soon as he cleans up."  Or if he saw that I was getting lunch made and asked for some, I'd say "I'll put your food here for when you're finished cleaning up and have washed your hands".  If they asked for the video game controller, I'd say no.

My kids' lives include a lot of fun, whether that's playing outside or building legos or whatever.  The ratio of fun to work is pretty high.  So, when the fun stops, they notice, and they want to get back to it.  [/quote]

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