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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Main reasons are children and finances.  We have a special needs child so I’ve cut back to working part time. This will not be a short term situation, as child will need assistance for life. [/quote]

Have you spoken with a counselor on your own, maybe someone who could help you find other options for yourself? Right now it sounds like you believe you have very few choices. But maybe a good counselor or social worker could help you fix this so you don't have to be miserable for years. Could you sell your house and downsize, for example? If you live in a place with five bedrooms, for example. do you really need that?

The whole situation sounds like a lengthy prison sentence. Based on what you said, you do need to get out of this marriage and also find other resources for your child. Does your husband agree this is not sustainable? I can't imagine he too wants to live this way for the long haul. Maybe you need to talk this out as if you're discussing the future of a business--you're running out of money but you need to find new products to sell, maybe change locations and most important, avoid bankruptcy. Ask yourselves, how do we continue supporting our child while moving on in a calm, civil way so we can each find our own individual happiness? I mean, if you were living with the most horrible roommate in the world, wouldn't you look for a way out? It would be considered downright insane to stay in the situation for years. I know there are a lot of people who are very high on sticking to the commitment of marriage but if it's hell, what are you committing to? If you're still under 40, you could be committing yourself to another 40 years of this. Oy.

If you can't separate for the next year or two, could you at least move towards some kind of situation where you acknowledge there is no romantic relationship but you're free to go out with friends, even see other people, get away on your own once a week, until you can divorce for good? [/quote]

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