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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you need to learn to stand up for yourself and your family. You're making your kids feel miserable because you won't, and then you won't stand up for your kids when they behave badly because they are sleep-deprived.

You're the mom - do what YOU need to do for your kids. That means, get a hotel, protect nap and bedtimes, and do the family events in between that that work.  Period.

I have to do this ALL THE TIME with my large family. For whatever dysfunctional reason, they always liked to needle me about needing sleep before kids; and they do the same after kids.  So I say f-em and just do whatever I need to do to sleep and for my kid's sleep. This includes literally hauling an entire extra set of bedding (air mattress, pillow, blankets) because they can't be trusted to have enough places to sleep (even if they claim they do.)

When/if relatives give you crap about missing events, just say "sorry, it was baby naptime."  Be very clear about the times you are available. If they actually want to see you and your kids, they will adjust. If not, you know they don't prioritize seeing you and your kids.  You could also make more affirmative suggestions for key relatives -- e.g., try to make a plan with grandparents for breakfast and a mid-morning walk. [/quote]

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