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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
1. He has his own nuclear family now, and it's not you or your mother.

2. Why on earth would she accept you on your own terms, OP? She has a right to conduct herself as she sees fit, and your brother goes along with it, so he's accountable too. It's not just her.

3. I have sympathy for you and I understand your plight, OP, but this is often what happens when people get married. They upset some relatives! However, the spouse always comes first, whether they're crazy or not.

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PP again, I read your update and I agree she sounds mentally ill and needs psychiatric help. However, all you can do is list all the history of borderline acts to your brother, as a reminder, because abused spouses often rationalize and forget stuff; and suggest he push her to visit a doctor (he needs to come along to describe family impact and symptoms, because psychiatric patients are rarely able to be objective about it). He can create an ultimatum and say it's either that or divorce. However, he needs to be very careful about his child, because if she's as controlling as that, she might hurt her (especially if they divorce and she has at least partial custody, which she will, because she's the mother and a doctor).

I'm sorry, OP. The situation sounds awful.
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